Well, it’s July now and I’ve still managed to keep myself on the university campus. Term ended on the 20th of June and it was a sad occasion, the end of the first year and what’s been the biggest adventure of my life - so far. It wasn’t fun to say goodbye to everyone and it was incredibly, disgustingly painful to strip my bedroom down to the bare bones that I found it in when I first moved in… and it feels like that happened such a short time ago. Not having my laptop there to get me through any boredom that might be headed my way or blast out some bass fueled tunes through my speakers, not having a pillow or bedsheets to sleep on or the soothing and comforting lighting I set up made for hard times. And having to take down all my posters and photos off the walls left me feeling like I was in a cell rather than ‘home’. What was once my safe haven had now been claimed back by the University, as miserable and plain as the skies outside.

I watched in the morning as everyone left the good life behind for the comfort of their homes, from London to Mexico, Spain to Germany. Being the stubborn bastard I am though and becoming far too attached to campus for my own good, I wasn’t ready to leave yet. After a day of wandering around campus with no house, friends or room to go back to, I managed to pick myself up a job cleaning student rooms and a place to stay with my good friends Johannes and Robin. Cleaning after students wasn’t exactly my thing (especially if they were as lazy and messy as me) and sleeping on the floor in a room with two guys… well, if there was a place for such things, Brighton is it.

Staying on an empty campus proved to be totally worth it in the end as I’ve had as good a time as when people were still around, and most of it being sober times. Inspired by Suria’s approach to life, we’ve been attempting to spend as little money as possible on anything and everything and so far, so good. We accumulated ridiculous amounts of free food by breaking into abandoned accommodation and raiding the fridges, yielding fancy chocolate fudge cakes, gourmet bacon and sausages, pastas, poultry, burgers, chips, sauces… you name it, we found it and consumed it.

Work proved to be easy as hell as all I really had to do was pretend to work or sleep on the job as there was rarely anything to do as everything was already clean and once more I found more food submitted by students in a rush to leave. Life only got easier and sweeter later in the day when we found that life was once again returning to the veins of our dear campus in the form of international students arriving for summer school, the majority being American. In order to welcome them to our University, a big tent was put up outside the library offering free food and booze… our favorite price! We ate lots, drunk more and for good measure filled up a backpack with all that we could carry and returned to the bar to meet our new American friends.

It was a crazy weekend and start to our story which appear to be coming to an end now. Robin left for Madrid not too long ago to teach children English and early today those crazy kids Suria and Johannes took off on their bikes for an insane trip from Brighton to Barcelona. As this adventure comes to an end, those three are off on more crazy escapades for sure. I’m the last man standing at the moment, still in Brighton, still on campus and running out of the free food we stole, running low on money, possibly out of the job that was supporting me and with no place to stay or sleep… but that’s all part of the fun.

That’s ‘Summer Camp’ in a nutshell, I hope to go into more detail about it soon. I’m sure things will only get more crazy next week for me having been stripped of my three companions and everything else, maybe at last being forced to depart from campus and return to London once more? It’s been a great ride and stuff is set to get a bit more hectic for me as in just a month I’ll be jetting off to India to do… well, I haven’t really figured it out yet.

But it’ll be awesome, no doubt.

Peace X

Even though I’ve been neglecting this blog and stuff, I’ve managed to find time to post in it every month this year and I’m forcing myself to do it now… BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! But because I still want to neglect the site I’m not going to post about anything of importance as it would be breaking tradition. But also because I have less than an hour to make this post and I would prefer watching a movie, so I think I’ll talk about the most interlecktual thing I can think of at the moment: homeless people.

Yeah, that’s right; homeless people.
Why are so few of them women? And why are the female ones so unappealing to the eye? Instead of spending the money they ‘earn’ on stupid things like booze, drugs, clothes or food, why don’t they invest in something of real importance such as makeup or a set of hair straighteners? I might sound a little, tiny bit shallow, but let’s face it; it is a lot easier to give money to someone good looking than someone who looks- well, homeless. If they looked really good, you would want to give them more than just money.

Oh, wait- I just realised there are such things as these women but they’re called prostitutes. My bad.
I also think I not only just wrote the interlecktual post ever on my site, but the intelligent post on any site ever in the history of the internet.

I remember not too long ago I was speaking to some guy that was telling me how good looking his friend’s sister is, so I told him he should do something about it (I was thinking maybe kidnapping her) and his excuse reason for not doing that is because it would piss off his friend.
Then some other guy told me he really liked this girl but couldn’t do anything with her because she used to go out with his friend.

So this got me thinking for the first time in months and I came to a realisation and discovered the true reason why war exists; not because of greed, not because of religious clashes, not because of anger. War exists because if everyone got along nobody would ever get laid.

“War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothin’!”

I beg to differ. It gives us an excuse to do each other’s sisters. And I mean “do” in the best way possible, such as showering them with gifts and attention, tell them how amazing they look, take them out to an expensive restaraunt to wine and dine them and show them the time of their life. Then get up early in the morning whilst their still asleep, leave and never call them again. And maybe take their kidney and sell it on the black market if you’re really romantic.

A lot of things are hard to find, I hear. Such as the lost city of Atlantis (emphasis on “lost”), diamonds, and Bigfoot. But do you know what’s even harder to find? A JOB. I mean, the only reason people look for Atlantis, diamonds and Bigfoot is because they gave up on finding a REAL job. I guess you’d have to be pretty desperate to look for Atlantis, considering it’s a “lost” city and all.

I never knew it would be this hard to get a job and not even a good one! I’ve had more rejections than all the Pop Idol contestants put together. Vodafone got back to me about a position though and to my surprise I passed the phone interview, so my friend and I went to check out the place where I would be working if I got the job, since it’s pretty far from home. I was OUTSTANDED- yes, that’s right; outstounded- when we got there.

Imagine a castle, subway and street having a threesome, and then 9 months later the street has a baby but it’s unsure whether the castle or subway is the father. The street is also unsure how any of that was at all possible.

You’d get this: Liverpool Street. It has everything in the world and then some. It’s got a tube station inside which is one of the busiest in the UK which is why it’s sometimes called Liverpool Street station. It’s got a McDonalds, Burger King, Sushi restaraunt nearby, some pubs, bars and loads of other shops including a stationary one; I can spend hours in a stationary shop looking at all the books I could buy and not write in as I’m lazy, and then walk out without buying a thing.

So it has all the stuff I like: junk food, sushi, easy transport, stationary. But the thing that impressed me the most is… the ROOF.

A fucking roof! How many ’streets’ in the world have a roof? I couldn’t get over it when I first saw it… what genius thought of that?! If there’s one thing that England needs, it’s a roof… over the entire country. It rains enough, so why not? Oh, and walls. The STREET has WALLS!
Even though it’s somewhere you really don’t want to be in the case of an earthquake, it looked like an awesome place to work. Excuse my over enthusiasm to this, but like I said; I only started getting out of my local area and exploring London lately so it’s like I just crawled out of a hole and saw the sun for the first time. Without going blind.

And outside the station is a little square surrounded by restaraunts, coffee shops and book stores with a miniature arena in the centre where the kids play hockey. I could just imagine myself sitting there with a book and cup of coffee and acting like I’m one of those characters in a sitcom who do stuff like sit down and drink coffee and have sex with super models.

Since I actually wanted the job after that, of course I knew I wasn’t going to get it. I have a habit of getting offered the jobs I don’t want (like ‘acid taster’) and never getting the ones I don’t.
Even though I passed the phone interview with them, they then wanted to do a ‘roleplay’ in which I had to sell a holiday to the interviewer. I watch too many late Friday night movies and thought “roleplay” had something to do with trying to turn a woman on. Needless to say, I failed- but I do think I turned her on a bit.

That didn’t really happen, but I wish it did; failing due to ignorance is better than failing when you really tried. So I didn’t get the job in the outstounding Liverpool Street, which means I’ll never get to live a sophisticated life of drinking coffee, reading books and eating sushi like my hero; Barney The Dinosaur.

Central London is awesome because it’s busy and cleaner than where I live. It’s not a bad place, but after coming from Central London and Liverpool Street it looks like someone dropped a nuke here.

This has really confused me for ages now, but how do people find the time to stop, pose and take about one thousand photos of each other when they go out?

I don’t have anything against this ‘camera whoring’, I’m just really curious about it. It’s started with websites such as Myspace and Facebook I suppose? But I don’t really get it, because when I go out with my friends I don’t really get the chance to tell everyone to shut up and stop what they’re doing and play vogue before temporarily blinding them with a camera. I mean with the Flash, not by pounding them between the eyes with it.
The reason I don’t get this chance is because my friends are all vampires, so they don’t really show in photos, which means I’m always the only person visible and it makes me look like a loner. No, really, that’s not an excuse for not having friends! I swear!

But seriously, I just enjoy their company way too much to think about breaking out my camera phone and just taking pointless photos. Isn’t that pretty much the purpose of friends; to enjoy their company? Isn’t taking out a camera and disrupting the flow of friendliness like taking our your Gameboy and ignoring everyone?
If you were in a war and everyone else was getting on with killing each other, you wouldn’t do that. A photo of you having your arm blown off by a grenade would make a pretty cool photo opportunity, but wouldn’t it be better to survive?
Yeah, that wasn’t a very good example.

But I still find it amazing how people get so many pictures like that as it’s something I just can’t do. I wish I could, but I don’t see the point and I’m usually just having way too much fun to think about taking any pictures. I suppose taking photos of each other doing stupid things can be fun too, but how do you find the time and opportunity to do something like that?!
And don’t get me started about the people who just want to take a photo with you when you’ve just met them. They’re either doing it so they can put it on a website or do some vodoo shit.

Here’s a photo I took from a year ago at a party we went to. As you can tell, this room is empty, therefore the party was somewhere else. But two girls wrapped themselves in curtains and starting taking pictures of each other. Unlike them though, I was taking the photo because I genuinely through there was some lesbian action going on… which is also the reason why Vikesh is inspecting; because he too, is a lesbian.
Dissapointingly, they weren’t being lesbians but just taking pictures to post on Myspace or some site like that.

Who goes to a party to take pictures of people like that? In my defence, I took the picture because I thought they were lesbians, which I’m sure any guy would have… I hope. For the most part, I was having fun with my friends and meeting other people and having fun with them. Not lesbian fun, but just fun. So I don’t see the logic in this.

I’ve tried this sort of thing before, but it wasn’t as exciting as some people make it out to be;

Sure, in most of them I didn’t really get them to pose or anything stupid which would give me a reason to frame them, add them to an album or get the photos tattoed to the inside of my eye lids. I did a bit of a paparazzi here, but when I have asked my friends to pose, I usually get a “why?” which I can’t really answer. Either that or a “fuck off”, which is fair enough.

It doesn’t seem Neel’s too into this camera whoring thing either by the looks of it…

Whereas Vikesh is too into it and is a great example of why I’m quite scared of it.

But I’m still curious about it and lately I’ve tried to get into it. A lot of people find it fun and I don’t get nearly enough life out of my camera phone as I should. Those poor 2 Megapixels are going to waste! So recently, I decided to use it like everyone else is when I was in the mood. Here’s what I got: 

Yeah… food. EXCITING, NO?
The real reason behind it is because I NEVER get to have sushi as I NEVER go into Central London which is pretty much the only place that sells it. And I’m NEVER awake early enough to get a McDonalds bagel, let alone take a photo of one.
I really can’t do it for some reason… the thought of making my friends pose and taking a photo just never crosses my mind when we’re shopping, eating, talking, getting drunk, when we’re ALREADY drunk, when we’re dancing, bowling, on the bus, on the train, etc. And I’m sure my friends feel the same way since they don’t really do it either. Maybe we’re old fashioned. I really don’t like it when people just take pictures of me when I’m eating or whatever, which is one reason I won’t use my excellent singing and acting talent for fame. Because I don’t have either.
I believe cameras should only be used for home security, models and as I demonstrated above; stalking potential lesbians. But I will master this camera whoring one way or another; the photos section on the site is more empty than Oprah’s lunchbox. Even if it’s just for satire and parody of the people who do have friends so boring that they have to amuse themselves with cameras all day, I WILL get my friends and myself on camera for no reason. But mainly me, because I’m better looking than all of them put together.